One of the recent big talks my husband and I have had with our fifteen year old son is about his refusal to take notes in his chemistry class (for homeschool kids). It started out with my son having procrastinated about doing his homework which included math problems for scientific notation. It was now the night before the homework was due and no fewer than five days had passed since he could have started work on it. He worked himself up into a panic about his inabilty to do it.
My son forgot how to do the math operations and asked my husband for help. My husband didn't remember how to do it since it has been twenty or more years. I inserted myself into the conversation and asked where his notes were since I knew the teacher went over that operation in class (as I was there for that part of the orientation class). My son admitted to not taking notes and doodling in the notebook instead.
I pulled out my notes. Yes, I took notes. Why? Because I am a note taker and as I sat there in class one I thought to myself that one reason my son was in this traditional class was to learn notetaking and other basic school skills that our alternative education has not mandated he practice. I realized the teacher was writing fast and I know my son writes slow so on a hunch I decided to take notes. I figured at home if he needed help I could pull my notes out and then gently tell him next time to take more detailed complete notes so he could actually learn the material and do the work for the grade (note I list those as two different reasons). In my mind my son would say, "Oh, I didn't realize how important it is to take notes. I am so glad you took these notes. Thank you Mom you are a lifesaver. From now on I plan to take detailed notes in every class." As I write that I feel like an idiot for thinking that would be his reaction.
My son argued with us about notetaking and insisted taking notes was stupid and pointless. I reminded him that if he took the notes he would not have trouble doing the work and the work could be done quickly and then he'd get a good grade to boot. He again argued that note taking is stupid and there was no reason to do it.
I have been mentally prepping my son for the shift in academics since grade eight. That year was not as rigorous as I planned, we did too many co-ops and outside classes and we did not buckle down and learn some core skills like notetaking, outlining, and study skills to ramp him up for traditional studies in the high school years. Grade nine was full of challenges, the move, and health issues for my son. So here were are in supposed grade ten still discussing these things and we are still getting flack.
I would like to believe that kids can have an alternative education in the elementary and middle school years and be capable to shift gears to traditional academics for high school and college but so far my older son's attitude and actions have not shown this to be the case. In the past he has struggled with health issues (Lyme Disease multiple times, Mono, Chronic Tonsillitis and surgery to remove them, brain injury from Lyme Disease, and visual processing disorders from Lyme Disease). However as of today I am sick of hearing of diagnoses and reasons and possibly excuses. It is time to buckle up and just do what has to be done. Frankly I don't care what the past diagnoses are it is time to figure out how to get the work done and just do it. It is time to stop complaining that not all learning is fun, that not all the books are exciting enough, that the learning is not entertaining enough. It is time to just sit your butt in a chair and get the work done. It is time to learn to study and to memorize and to regurgitate facts and to parrot explanations back as taught. It is time to play the school game, even if (for the time being) we are still homeschooling.
I pray to God that this laziness and poor attitude are not things that I have cultivated in the name of trying to have deep learning by using exciting and rich reading materials supplemented by engaging hands on activities and cool in real life experiences like visiting historic sites and museums.
Did I create this monster of a bad attitude? Can I really have helped contribute to my son being a slacker and a disengaged student? I refuse to accept that it's my fault.