Immortal Bird Book Review by ChristineMM

Title: Immortal Bird: A Family Memoir

Author: Doron Weber

My Star Rating: 3 stars out of 5 = It’s Okay

Summary Statement: Reads Like a Medical Case Study - Too Many Details - Needed Paring Down

I am interested in memoirs about parenting and family life. This memoir read like a medical case study but not written by a doctor -- it was written by an emotionally invested father who is skilled at researching and who had previously worked as a professional writer. Since the family filed a malpractice suit against the hospital this piece of writing seemed to be the father’s preparation of facts in order to present details to his lawyer to tell their side of the case rather than a story of a family centered on relationships and emotions.

The level of medical detail was too much. (My career was in the medical field and I am familiar with these terms and conditions and how “the system” works, including transplants. I was not confused medically; I felt that level of detail was not adding value to the story.) At least a third of the book should have been pared down and edited out as extraneous information.

Another area of excess was about the teen’s acting pursuits in high school. All the information about the very small part on Deadwood should have been edited down to one portion of one chapter. To me, it was boring and unimpressive: it was clearly stated in the book that the author’s friend wrote the part for the teen since he knew him. As to Damon’s enjoyment of acting, I can appreciate that. I know numerous kids who act in middle school and high school productions and in expensive summer acting camps (even in New York City!). Having recently watched the documentary Thespians, it’s obvious our country is full of talented teen actors. Every parent of a decent teen school play actor thinks their kid is a budding superstar...

Perhaps most bothersome was the tone of the book, it was one of anger and resentment. I probably would be really angry also if my child went through this. The thing is some people go through the same tragedies with their children but talk and write of it with other views, ones of gratitude or looking for the silver lining. This is not that kind of book.

It was apparent that the author deeply loved his son. This book really is about a father and his son. I felt that by writing what he did he made it clear to the reader that he displayed his love through researching and being a medical advocate for his son including being too aggressive. (He came off as a person who perhaps is perfectly suited for the career of a trial lawyer or a brutal divorce lawyer.) There were only a few times in the book where he discusses his deep emotions; I wanted more of that kind of writing.

The subtitle is “a family memoir” and I think that was a bad marketing choice. I was disappointed in the way the author represented his wife, she comes off as hurting, medically ailing, and weak, a minor figure in the family (the largest thing he focused on her doing was helping the teen’s high school drama production with finding costumes). I have a hard time accepting that portrayal, I don’t want to believe it is true. The other two (younger) children were barely mentioned in the book and it came off like the father favored Damon, the sick oldest child. I completely understand the situation where one child gets appropriate attention due to something like having been born with a congenital heart defect but it was painful to have the siblings not a larger part of this “family memoir”.

I found the book unpleasant to read but then again not all memoirs are light beach reads. The book was unpleasant for me in the arrogant tone of the author, the name dropping (which does not impress all readers) and as I said earlier, the too many medical details that read like notes to use in a malpractice suit deposition and just too much about the acting (I wanted to know more about the boy as a whole person not just how he acted on stage or other performance related jobs he did.)

Here’s the thing: medicine is an imperfect and evolving art. People are grateful for new breakthroughs. And now more than ever, people are going to extremes to achieve pregnancy when they are infertile and to save babies who are born ailing. For a first world nation with supposedly wonderful medical care and good nutrition, many American babies are born premature and some are born with birth defects or medical problems that a few decades ago would have resulted in death. Instead, they are saved daily due to extreme medical procedures. When something works, we praise the doctors and hospitals and our hearts are filled with gratitude, or some may just take it all for granted.

What our society does not want to confront or accept is that some of these extreme measures (open heart surgery, transplants, etc.) do not work for a lifetime. An extreme measure taken to save a newborn baby’s life may result in more surgery later in childhood or problems ten or twenty years later. A baby is saved but they may have complications that impair their life later, they may not achieve a state that we consider “fully functioning”. Transplants can go wrong (as it did with one of my family members). Americans want options open to them. The fact is that not all medical procedures restore full functioning and not all of them can restore a body to live a long healthy life. It’s sad but true.

I wish this memoir delved more into the emotional state of the teen and his family, and that the mother's role and the impact on the other two children was explored. I really wish it was a family memoir and not a medical case study. I wish it wasn't just a 400 page long angry rant.


Disclosure: I received an ARC of this book from the Amazon Vine program. See the link near the top of my blog's sidebar for the full disclosure statement.