What a learning curve: the transition from alternative homeschooling to the use of more paid classes which, although sometimes delivered in alternative or new technology ways, still are traditional classes. These classes require note taking, turning in homework, reading and answering questions to measure comprehension, memorization, and studying for quizzes and tests. This is not unreasonable. It is just traditional and it is not what my kids are used to doing.
I had been told that when a student is mature enough they can handle this, no matter how annoying or tedious or useless it seems or (fill in the blank with some other negative thing you think about school ways of doing things). It seemed reasonable and I bought into that. I have heard this mantra since I first started meeting homeschoolers and reading magazines and books when my oldest was just a baby. Well now that time is here for our family.
Further complicating the transition is the fact that the frequency of homeschool classes with outside teachers is usually once or twice a week compared to five days like the school kids. Homeschool kids wind up doing more independent learning in order to cover the content, I get it, that's fine. But it means that they are on their own to manage their time for both basic learning plus the studying. It is also hard to handle more assignments due once or twice a week instead of smaller bits learned daily and homework just on that stuff due the very next day. The way schools do it forces the kids to not procrastinate (except for long term projects or big tests). Doing homework on that day helps move the information from very recent memory into short term and long term memory. If you don't understand something you can ask about it the next day too. Homeschool classes allow more time for procrastination and misjudgements about how long the work will take have bigger consequences. Then a deadline is looming but the work required to do that large assignment is five or more hours in duration which is not easy to cram in and complete!
(Actually the model of 1-2 meetings a week is closer to the delivery method of education used by college, so maybe this is a good thing to learn at age 15, I guess, it's just painful to live through this learning curve.)
The one having the hardest time adjusting is my older son. He is rebelling against the school way of learning and the over-focus on memorization and recall of facts instead of a focus on deeper content and enjoyment and pleasure in learning. He doesn't like boring materials that he must digest then parrot back information. The dry content doesn't spark the mind enough to help the facts stick.
I am trying to teach and guide my older son into "the school way of doing things" but he is pushing back. Most of that, I believe, is related to his developmental stage and puberty. He wants to be independent. He wants to be in charge, but he is not ready. He can't teach himself work habits and study habits he does not yet know exist. I am trying to guide him. He tells me he doesn't want my help. When he does do what I say he has success. When he wings it and flails, he fails. You would think he would learn that it is time to stop resisting and do what Mom recommends. He wants to be independent and not have to rely on Mom, I get that. I keep saying that I will help him learn the techniques now and then I will back off on teaching that once he can do that on his own.
When asked if he was ready for the test today he got mad and said it was annoying to hear me ask and next time he was just not going to even tell me when he had a test scheduled. I couldn't help thinking that if my son fails a test the teacher may judge our family by saying, "What kind of family is that to let their kid come take a test completely unprepared? They must have a low achievement or slacker mentality in that household." Ouch. That's not what the situation here is but what we do have is a teenage boy that has stubbornness and independent thinking running on both sides of the family.
I want to say to my son, and I think I have actually: gee whiz, forgive me for trying to help you succeed kid.
I am not doing the work for him, I am trying to guide him and give ideas and advice about how he can fulfill the class requirements, so he can actually learn, and how to get good grades all at the same time. But he doesn't want my help. I can't just let him sink or swim so I am spacing my offers of help out, and not nagging him. When I offer to help I make sure I have time and am ready, then I give him space and leave him alone to work it out by himself for the majority of the time.