I don't think I've ever told my kids that they are special. The word gives me the heeby-jeebies. I was raised with tough non-emotion showing family members, whether that was due to cultural traits, personality, neurological "quirks", or more serious mental illness I will not get into. Why does not matter anyway. My upbringing is what is was, and there is no use over-analyzing it now or dwelling on what I wish was different.
My ilk are English, Irish, German, Scottish, and more recently, Pennsylvania Dutch. I come from a long line of Yankees. I come from hard-working desperately poor immigrant stock, people who came to America looking for a better life who worked their tails off for a very basic no-frills living. In my family, no one went around telling me or my brother that we were special. No way. Basic survival was the main thing that my family was preoccupied with.
Today my eleven year old asked if he was special. I asked what he meant. He asked if he was smart, and if I thought he had a reason for being here, on this Earth.
I guess this was yet another existential question day. These questions come at me out of the blue.
He said if there was a reason he was here, a reason he was born, he didn't know what it was, and that concerned him.
I was not raised in a religious family but today I shared my reply based on my views today. I said that every person is here for a reason, even if we don't know what it is yet. I said God knows the reason, and to trust God. I said what he's asking for is for "his calling" and that it usually takes many years to realize what one's calling is. I said that it will be revealed someday, you never know when, but a key is in the mean time, to do your best to live life using your God given talents and gifts.
I don't know how many young kids worry and wonder about why they exist. All I know is that when such questions are asked I am usually taken by surprise.
Being sensitive and concerned with existential matters from a young age are two factors on the list for qualities of gifted children. I hate the label, but sometimes to get help with things, we have to know of a label and seek resources intended for people who think they have that label.
I highly recommend SENG for learning about the emotional side of giftedness in children and adults. My favorite books are A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children and Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis of Gifted Children and Adults. Both are in print and available through the publisher, Great Potential Press, if you have a hard time finding them.
Disclosure: See the link near the top of my blog's sidebar.